The Mystical Grownupland

I want to go the the magical, mystical grown up land that my kids seem to know about. They're hiding the map from me though. Can someone please point me in the right direction?!


Here are some of my favorite things about this place I have never seen, in no particular order... because come on, they're all the bestest things about being a gown up:

You can do WHATEVER you want!

No having to make someone lunch or dinner, no doing laundry, no housework period! No angry bosses, no disgruntled employees, no long hours, no too short hours, nope, because you don't have to WORK! You just have to play, and swim, and do whatever pops in your head because NO ONE is the boss of you. Bliss. Change your own poopy diaper, I don't wanna!

You can EAT whatever you want!

Go ahead princess, eat five cupcakes in a row. Yes, it IS ok to eat the ENTIRE bag of chocolates, that's what pirates do! The only thing expanding is your happiness. ❤

You don't have to listen to ANYONE!

Gone are whiny kids. No fighting around you unless it involves sumo suits. In laws don't exist. There's no bills screaming to be paid, no responsibility except your own good time. Yay!

NO NAPS!

Well, unless you want them. And then they take place in your own acceptable spots, like pirate coves, fairy villages', in race cars, and behind the curtain of your starring ballet.

You don't have to BRUSH!

Yep, that's right. Hair and teeth are always fresh and neat! Tinkerbell doesn't brush and she always wakes up perfect. Well darling, so will you. Are you packing your bags yet?

Everybody's NICE to you!

No snide remarks, no judgments, there's not even cars or houses to reveal your social standing. We just fly with fairy dust and everybody knows everybody and we are all friends. We sleep in fields of daisies, after singing kumbiyah around a fire that doesn't harm the environment.




If you aren't already typing up your resignation, then your kids too, must be witholding the directions. How selfish of them. Perhaps we should form a Parent Union and picket and demand our rightfully earned paradise! Leave the hard work to the kids, because hey! This adulthood is NOT what it's advertised as.